The Original Human Oddity

Freedom!

2006-09-17T17:11:00.000-05:00

That's it, I've quit. I'm done. No more.

... no, not blogging, my job. I quit my job at ____________ and my last shift was on saturday. Sweet.
no money, though. Not sweet.
Unfortunately, I still can't actually say where I worked because of legal reasons. Oh well. People suck that way.

On another, more serious note, my grandfater-in-law finally passed away this morning. He'd been telling everyone for the past few years that this is his last ______ so take lots of pictures. We had to break the news to my grandma-in-law, who took it surprisingly well. Then again, she's 16 fries short of a happy meal and they only come with 14.

not much else is going on, But I'm still looking for a job. Nitrates will return when I do get one, don't worry.

Later days to the masses

who names these books?

2006-09-14T10:33:00.001-05:00

for english class, we get to choose a book from a list, simple enough, or so it would seem. Thanks to the school board, we have to pick from a list of award winning authors, normally those who make really long, boring books. But to my surprise, I managed to find an interesting one called the Cure for Death by Lightning. Anyone read it? let me know how it is.

2B or not 2B, where did I park?

2006-09-13T10:15:00.000-05:00

I've read and re-read the first scene of Hamlet so many times I can... not quite recite it by heart, but I can recognize who said what, which is the point of a spotting test. I'm good for last period.

You ever have one of those mornings where you do everything in your power to get somewhere on time, but you wind up being delayed and then you are sure you're going to be late, but when you get to school it's a late start day, so you're 45 minutes early? I did.

I get up at my normal time, head downstairs, de-bone a chicken breast for lunch, go upstairs to find my belt. Can't find it, so I give up, change my pants, and head downstairs to find that it's 8:30, nert (my psychotic cat) scooped my chicken, then humphree ate the rest of it. Damn. So I get out the chicken thighs and de-bone them and somehow, in this simple process of removing one bone, I give myself a nice inch-long cut on the bottom right corner of my palm in my left hand. Damn.

so I go out to the bus stop and wait... and wait... and catch the don mills bus down to mcnicoll, get off and wait... and wait... and watch a broken bus get towed away... and wait... and wait... and watch a car get towed away, and wait, and at 9:10, a bus finally comes. Damn. I'm gonna be late.

I get to school, everyone's in the caf, so I think, maybe my teacher didn't show up, it's raining, it could happen. I go in with my usual greeting of AAAAAAHHHH!!! and is she here today? with a reply of AAAAHHHH!!! and you're early, not yet.

Damn.

welcome to my day.

Another day, another... hmm...

2006-09-12T09:01:00.000-05:00

Once again I am sitting in the emptiness that is the resource room, pretending to do nothing at all, but in reality, I'm stuck posting on this thing 'cus I get "reminded" to update by my mom.

Moving on.
Nothing good happening yet, I'll let you know if something does

Ok, strike's over

2006-09-11T09:13:00.000-05:00

Here I am, back after a two week leave. For those of you that haven't noticed, I've removed the two videos that would normally be found in the page, but this was greatly slowing down the page. Screw that

...And now for something completely different

I've also not posted because I've been in mourning... sorta. I've recently started school and discovered that I must adjust my timetable, removing my only spare and filling it in with a math course. Joy, now I'm pleased. There goes my 3-hour lunch.

School otherwise hasn't been that bad. I have two art courses, and an english course (I know English is supposed to be capitalized. leave me alone.) the other period is a neat lil' thing called "Resource". this means that I get to sit in a class, do my homework, slack off, and get a credit for just showing up. Nice, and since I have no homework currently, I'm doing this in Resource. How's that for a class?

Alias... what's the plural form?

2006-08-30T08:29:00.000-05:00

For those grand surfers out there, you may understand the necessity of having many aliases, especially since I can't use my name since of my current occupation, as some of you may have noticed, I have removed my real name from my profile so those of you who do know it, consider yourselves priviledged. I know, that was one hell of a run on sentence. I don't care.

So you may recognize me 'round the web, here's a short list of some of my aliases.

blogger: Spawn of Satan
youtube: knumpify
gkko: Mr.Sinister
datapimp:Ghost
runescape:djman12
miniclip: thatwierdassguyiknow

If you see me around, gimme a shout.

oh, yeah, and the video's different

Something new... Holy crap!

2006-08-28T13:10:00.000-05:00

For those of you that aren't blind, you've probably noticed the new music video I've put into the template. This is my first kirfuddle with html, just to get the hang of things. Gimme some feedback. The video might change, but for now, it's good enough

my one-time massive bitch

2006-08-27T18:32:00.000-05:00

This is a warning, there will probably be some frustration, swearing and ridiculusly long lists. Just thought you oughta know.

My one major rant will be on the topic of video games. hands, now, how many of you are vidiots? serious gamers? psuedo-gamers? wannabe-gamers? play-to-relax-gamers?

ok, moving on. I'm a pseudo-gamer. I play occasionally and when I do, I beat the shit out of it in six to twelve hours of non-continuous gameplay. I enjoy games, what I don't enjoy is the recently discovered fact that I've beaten everything. I need some suggestions from the readers about what games are either insanely hard, or insanely long. Here's a short list of the games I've beaten, so you aren't clueless about reccomendations

amped 1 and 2, all the tomb raiders, hitman contracts, hitman blood money, fable, doom3, ressurection of evil, DOA 3, metroid prime, pikmin, all the legend of zeldas, all the castlevanias, conker's bad fur day, half-life 1 and 2, FEAR, all the call of duties, all the medal of honours, etc... You guys get the picture. If it's not a sports game, odds are I'v beaten it. So are there any suggestions about unheard of games that really kicked ass?

Any?

A few questions to the technologically superior

2006-08-24T22:21:00.000-05:00

hey all, I have a few questions for you ppl,

1. on my other blog, my counter is right next to my site meter, anyone know how to code it into another line?
2. do you know how to alter your header, say using a picture or importing a short flash animation?
3. change the font colour?

much thanks n' stuff.

yet another thursday thirteen

2006-08-24T12:11:00.000-05:00

here I am, back with yet another thursday.

here's a list of 13 bumper stickers that just kick ass

1. the weather is here- wish you were beautiful
2. it's lonely at the top, but you eat better
3. vote jack kevorkian for white house physician
4. all generalizations are false
5. time is the best teacher; unfortunately, it kills all of it's students
6. okay, who put stop payment on my reality check
7. stress is when you wake up screaming and you realize you haven't fallen asleep yet
8. I majored in liberal arts, would you like fries with that?
9. dyslexics are teople poo
10. please do not honk- driver sleeping
11. grow your own dope, plant a man
12. some people don't know how to drive. I call these people "everyone but me."
13. proud member of P.E.T.A.: people eating tasty animals

and for my quote of the day: "it's my right to be able to fuck with your head. You put me through 48 hours of labour AND a c. section. You will never be off the hook. don't forget that. I took the doctor hostage with a plastic cafeteria knife screaming 'get this thing outta me!' so there. fmp." -none other than my mother.

all TT comments will recieve links to thier blog in this post. so there. fmp

Amy the Black

astrocoz

Trish

Tag!!!

2006-08-23T23:00:00.000-05:00

Because of that "caring" mother of mine, I was tagged. so it's my turn to write 5 wierd things about myself

1. I can always tell when an elevator will get stuck
2. I can roll my eyes back and freak out most people
3. I love reptiles, we always seem to get along
4. I can always tell what you're afraid of just by looking at you for long enough
5. Everyone I meet is either intrigued by me, scared by me, or will worship the ground I walk on. I have no idea why.

time to tag five people now. payback's a bitch.

All Call to the masses

2006-08-23T22:44:00.000-05:00

here I am, once again, sorry it's been a while, I've been dark, sullen and bored for most of my time, therefore I haven't had anything to wrigte about. I did start a new blog, as you may have noticed. It is dedicated to the several "special" moments at work.

moving on.

I am calling upon the good, the strange, the polythiestec and the armchair masses to help me in a grand search for a couple of items. The first on the agenda is something for my mom, a nice little hoodie with devil horns in the hood.

the second thing is an alchemist's walking cane. For those of you who don't know what this is, Imagine a 94 cm cane, solid black hardwood, with a silver skull filled with resin and a silver tip for durability. the skull rests flatly on top of the cane and has the alchemist's A indented into the forehead. There's a pic down there for you. I have found a couple, but I would rather not spend 114 pounds for it. Please let me know if and where yuo find either of these two items. Much thanks to the masses.

long overdue quote for the day- "the proctologist called, they found your head."
- a really cool bumper sticker

THURSDAY!!! wOOt! wOOt!

2006-07-13T15:45:00.000-05:00

it's that time again! and this one is actually on time.

let'sa try this again, since there were only three comments in the last post. I know I know, I need to be more frequent. meh. I'll get around to it. sometime. I think.

so. on to business.

this week, I cover things that you though came from one place, but actually came from another.

1. pizza
thought to be from: Italy
actually from: France

2. paper money
thought to be from: China
actually from: Mongolia

3. pasta
thought to be from: Italy ang Greece
actually from: China and Japan

4. haggis
thought to be from: Scotland
actually from: Ireland and Wales

5. 5. the kilt
thought to be from: Scotland
actually from: France

6. whiskey
thought to be from: Ireland
actually from: England
(it was trademarked and patented in Britian first.)

7. the croissant
thought to be from: France
actually from: Romania

8. gyros
thought to be from: Greece
actually from: Persia

9. Opium
thought to be from: China and Japan
actually from: Veitnam

10. our numeric system
thought to be from: England
actually from: Arabia

11. Grindcore
thought to be from: Germany
actually from: Russia

12. bic pens
thought to be from: the U.S., Made in Taiwan
actually from: France

13. Knumpty
thought to be from: Denmark
actually from: Scotland
(it's a word that means Idiot. the scottish spell it without a k, and there it means a member of scottish parliment)

my quote for the day: "the automata kolishnikov model of 1947, also known as the AK-47 or the kolishnikov, was Russia's largest export, following vodka and suicidal novelists. it was a perfect compilation of plywood and stainless steel. It doesn't overheat or jam, it will fire wheather covered in mud or filled with sand. it's so simple to use a child could to it, and they often do. the soviet union put it on a coin, It's on Mozambique's flag, and one thing's for sure, people weren't lining up to buy their cars. Just remember, smoking and traffic accidents kill more people than all of my weapons. At least mine have a safety switch. One thing we can agree on, though is that guns dont kill people, guns in the hands of stupid people kill people." Yuri Orlov - soviet gun runner

Pseudo- Thursday Thirteen

2006-07-07T08:04:00.000-05:00

a day late but here none the less, thursday thirteen!

here's a list of thirteen riddles, the first one to correctly answer all of them wins! Wins what? you might ask. A astral pat-on-the-back. fell nice and fuzzy in those cockles for a change, who cares. Have fun

1. what does a diamond become when you place it in a glass of water?

answer: jaho fad (you didn't think I'd give them in english, did you?)

2. in a dark cabin, you have a gas furnace, a gas stove, and a gas lantern, but only one match. What do you light first?

answer: dra sydlr

3. what always runs, but never walks, often murmurs, but never talks, has a mouth, but never eats, has a bed, but never sleeps?

answer: nejan

4. what starts with e, ends with e, but only has one letter?

answer: es asjamuba

5. what grows larger the more you take away from it?

answer: y ruma

6. it was born at the same time as the world, destined to live as long as the world, but it is never five weeks old. what is it?

answer: dra suuh

7. what two words have the most letters in them, regardless of language?

answer: y bucd uvvela

8. at night they always come without being fetched, but by day they are lost without being stolen.

answer: cdync

9. I live for the laughter, I live for the crowd, without it I am nothing but a lifeless shroud

answer: y lmufs

10. with a face like a tree and skin like the sea, a great beast I be, yet a vermin frighten me.

answer: ys amabrysd

11. I tolerate the moon ans stars, I can't abide the sun. Banish me with torchlight and you'll see me turn and run.

answer: tyngsacc

12. what requires an answer, but never asks a question?

answer: dra damabrusa

13. I have five fingers and a thumb, yet no flesh or bone within me.

answer: y kmuja

so there, and good luck to ya.

and my quote for the day: "Eclectic: indecisive spirituality since before madonna

INSERT BRILLIANT COMEBACK HERE

2006-06-27T19:18:00.000-05:00

Yes! I return, sorry for the wait, my imagination... broke. I went... place. ok, ok, let's get pseudo-serious here, I kinda forgot my username. Remembered my password, but you can't "recover" your username. I know, I know, frickin' brilliant. Whatever. Here I am! about two months ago I was given a Hughes and Ketner stack. For those of you who are musically impaired, that would be good. It's the gizmo that make my guitar go uber loud. Like vibrate the neighbours loud. Plus I got a new guitar to go uber loud with. Nice. Well, we got it home and it didn't work. Figures. So we return it, only to find that they have to wait for the tekkie to come, next Thursday. Nice. By this time, people really suck. So we go home and wait a couple of business weeks. Now they tell us that the parts have to be shipped ni from Germany. Nice. Then a month later, we discover that they "lost" the parts. By now we say fuck this and go to exchange it.
this is the origional

and here's what we wound up coming home with

keep in mind that none of the pics are that clear. the actual measurements are pretty close. They are 3 feet high, by 2 feet wide, by 14 inches thick.

Oh, yeah, I almost forgot the guitar, no quarrels with it, no issues/problems/breakages/other mishaps yet.

It's a B.C. Rich Warlock Platinum in matte black.
Yes, it has a name. It's Ashley. No, I will not tell you who Ashley is.

Not quite Thursday Thirteen

2006-06-02T22:27:00.000-05:00

I know it's a little bit after thursday, but who cares. i couldn't do it on thursday because I was at work. So I now present you with the Friday Fourteen

This week, I'll list all of the teachers I've traumatized or mentally wounded over teh years.

1. Mrs. Shy, grade three teacher. Would say things like F'n A, just so she thought I was swearing
2. Ms. Belle, grade four teacher. Would copy her
3. Ms. Curtis, substitute teacher. Told her I had terets, Fucking Bitch
4. Mrs. Law, grade six teacher. Would act like a teacher's pet to the extreme.
5. Ms. Ahmed, grade 7 math teacher. Tried to teach her the "new" math.
6. Ms. Nardia, grade 7 phys ed. Went into great detail in health class on the sex ed chapter.
7. Ms. Tatum, grade 7, 8, and 9 science. Would stump her in science, once got to teach the class. I tought human anatomy... in great detail
8. Mr. Sukhu, grade 9 english. Would correct his spelling on his hand written notes and give them back.
9. Ms. Gallo, grade 7, 8, and nine french. Would speak in quebec slang, which was incoherent to her.
10. Ms. Papodados, grade 9 french for a week. Would forget her name and call her popadopolis. I also handed in an assignment of the numbers 1 to 100 in french. Le 1, Le 2, Le 3, etc.
11. Ms. Koutsivitis, grade 9 phys ed. WEnt into greater detail than in grade seven. Apparently they frown upon describing a "spit-roast". Who would've thought?
12. Ms. Kornhaber, grade school vice principal. I threw a bully into a wall and I got the week long in-school suspention.
13. Ms. Fisher, junior-high librarian. Once borrowed her stereo to play my guitar on, blew it out in thirty seconds.
14. Mr. Smith, grade 9 shop/business technologies teacher. Would put sound effects on all of the computers, or I would activat the BOIS password, or would replace the desktop with a picture of the icons, the remove the icons.

That's all 14, there you go. I'll probably continue with the Friday Fourteen, because i normally work on Thursday.

Gimme some advice, what do you think I should write about? leave your answer in the comments, and I'll add you to "the list"

mMy quote for the day: "A man who is willing to meet you halfway, Is a poor judje of distance." -- Confucius

astrocoz
trish
great day

For those of you that were wondering, yes, I have a porn name

2006-05-30T21:38:00.000-05:00

I do indeed have a porn name, it's Nimitz King. not great, but not horrible either. For those of you who are now officially lost, you have to take the name of your first pet and the first street you ever lived on. Simple.

Today was... fun I continued working on a graphic arts project, involving flash animation. Let's just say, two stick men can indeed go a long way, and no, I'm not referring to stickman porno, that's been done. I am in fact doing a fight scene in which the victor will receive a... *insert gasp of anticipation here* POGO! not the little bouncy thingy, mind you, I mean the hot dog on a stick. Sorry to disappoint.
I will post it on a website for all to mock after the class butchering is completed, I'll leave the link on next saturday's post. I promise. Another bit o' news, I will soon be adding a profile picture, not to doctored in photoshop, so fear not.

By the way, did I mention that summer officially SUCKS!!! 'cuz it does, ya know. It's a nice, warm 20 ne day, then a sweltering 35 the next day. I sucks. Large. I hate the heat, I'd rather go snowboarding in my undies, but then again, who wouldn't? the rumours are true, Canada only has two seasons. Winter at -40, and road - repair, at +28 and up. You think that's not so bad? well, let's add oh, I dunno, 81% humidity. Yup, gotcha now. But wait, I'm photo-sensitive, don't do sunlight. Joy.

I know, I know, I'm bitching more than my mom, but it had to be said. So there.

My quote for the day: "You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me!"
-- Me

Mondays Suck!

2006-05-29T19:50:00.000-05:00

well, here we are again, sick and tired of monday, only to have it come anyway. But wait, if that wasn't bad enough, it had to screw with my pseudo-norm and make all TTC (that's all the public busses, for the non-torontonians) people strike. Joy. So I decided to go around and try any personality test I could find. Well, there are a few, let's just say, I'm not exactly average. I know, I know, big shock, but whatever, still fun to try. I will only post a few, and let me know how you all do.

You Are Animal

A complete lunatic, you're operating on 100% animal instincts.
You thrive on uncontrolled energy, and you're downright scary.
But you sure can beat a good drum."Kill! Kill!"

The Muppet Personality Test

Your Quirk Factor: 78%

You're so quirky, it's hard for you to tell the difference between quirky and normal.
No doubt about it, there's little about you that's "normal" or "average."

How Quirky Are You?

Thanks Trish

You Will Die at Age 58

Not bad, considering your super wild lifestyle
Want to live longer? Try losing a few bad habits.

What Age Will You Die?

You Are 82% Evil

You're the most evil person you know.
The devil is even a little scared of you!

How Evil Are You?

You Are an Emo Rocker!

Expressive and deep, lyrics are really your thing.
That doesn't mean you don't rock out...
You just rock out with meaning.
For you, rock is more about connecting than grandstanding.

What Kind of Rocker Are You?

Emo my ass!

Your Monster Profile

Grim Giant

You Feast On: Fried Chicken

You Lurk Around In: Movie Theaters

You Especially Like to Torment: Blondes

What's Your Monster Name?

You Were A Jaguar

A shapeshifter that understands the patterns of chaos.
You are powerful and move without fear in dark places.

What Animal Were You In a Past Life?

... Right

You Are Midnight

You are more than a little eccentric, and you're apt to keep very unusual habits.
Whether you're a nightowl, living in a commune, or taking a vow of silence - you like to experiment with your lifestyle.
Expressing your individuality is important to you, and you often lie awake in bed thinking about the world and your place in it.
You enjoy staying home, but that doesn't mean you're a hermit. You also appreciate quality time with family and close friends.

What Time Of Day Are You?

You Are 72% Abnormal

You are at high risk for being a psychopath. It is very likely that you have no soul.

You are at high risk for having a borderline personality. It is very likely that you are a chaotic mess.

You are at high risk for having a narcissistic personality. It is very likely that you are in love with your own reflection.

You are at medium risk for having a social phobia. It is somewhat likely that you feel most comfortable in your mom's basement.

You are at medium risk for obsessive compulsive disorder. It is somewhat likely that you are addicted to hand sanitizer.

How Abnormal Are You?

You Are Creepy

Serial killers would run away from you in a flash.

How Scary Are You?

Your Personality Is Like Acid

A bit wacky, you're very difficult to predict.
One moment you're in your own little happy universe...
And the next, you're on a bad trip to your own personal hell!

What Drug Is Your Personality Like?

You Are Lightning

Beautiful yet dangerous
People will stop and watch you when you appear
Even though you're capable of random violence

You are best known for: your power

Your dominant state: performing

What Type of Weather Are You?

Your Inner Child Is Naughty

Like a child, you tend to discount social rules.
It's just too much fun to break the rules!
You love trouble - and it seems that trouble loves you.
And no matter what, you refuse to grow up!

How Is Your Inner Child?

You Are

A Scary Pumpkin Face

You would make a good pumpkin and liver sandwich.

What's Your Pumpkin Face?

You Are an Excellent Cook

You're a top cook, but you weren't born that way. It's taken a lot of practice, a lot of experimenting, and a lot of learning.
It's likely that you have what it takes to be a top chef, should you have the desire...

Are You A Good Cook?

You Passed 8th Grade Science

Congratulations, you got 8/8 correct!

Could You Pass 8th Grade Science?

You Are Iceman

You tried to live a normal life, but it just wasn't possible
A bit of a slacker, you rather tell jokes than cultivate your powers

Powers: turning self and others into ice, making ice weapons, becoming nearly invisible

Which of the X-Men Are You?

Your Penis Name Is...

Squirmin' Herman the One-Eyed German

Penis Name Generator

Your Hidden Talent

You have the natural talent of rocking the boat, thwarting the system.
And while this may not seem big, it can be.
It's people like you who serve as the catalysts to major cultural changes.
You're just a bit behind the scenes, so no one really notices.

What's Your Hidden Talent?

Your Ideal Pet is a Monkey

You're both playful, wacky, and indifferent to bad smells.
If only you could teach your monkey to change its own diapers!

What's Your Ideal Pet?

if anyone else has a really cool personality test, let me know in my comments. That's all for now, back later.

My quote for the day: "It's difficult to work in a group when you're omnipotent."
--Q

Thursday Thirteen

2006-05-25T21:36:00.000-05:00

I know it's a bit late in the day, forgive me ,I just got home from work, but like I promised, here's my thursday thirteen.

welcome to the thirteen grossest things I've eaten. Please note: this is throughout my life, laugh all you want, puke if you need to, I don't care, whats past is past. Whatever

1. Paste (who hasn't?)

2. fries. (covered in sugar, ketchup, salt, pepper, A1 sauce, gravy, Iced tea, vinager, and a little Coke)

3. a scorpion

4. alligator

5. a salami sandwich. made with half a bottle of mustard.

6. a catterpillar

7. an earthworm

8. snot

9. green Kraft dinner

10. a whole glue stick

11. pickles with mustard

12. pebbles.

13. ants.

Next week, I'l have a better one, I promise, for now, I'm dead tired.

my quote for the day: "An alcoholic is anyone that you don't like that drinks more that you do"
-- Dylan Thomas

Side Note

2006-05-22T13:29:00.000-05:00

Hi all, I'm back to tell you that I will indeed be participating in the thursday thirteen and if you comment, I'll try to remember to add you to the list of mention-worthy blogs.

be back later, you've already got my quote for the day, wait for tomorrow.

KABOOM!

2006-05-22T13:20:00.000-05:00

Well, here we are again, blowing up mass quantities of salt peter, sulphur, potassium nitrate, cobalt, aluminum, tin, copper, and some sand. For those of you who never took chemistry, that would be fireworks. Thank gods for another holiday that, even though it has no further relevance to us, we still drink and blow shit up for it. Nice. Speaking of blowing stuff up, I believe that I recently mentioned a tale of a science project demonstrating the explosive side of sugar. I feel a little more detail is needed. A quick note, make sure your kids don't try this, it really works. Very well, at that. If you all know, sugar is a fine particle, and when dispersed in a certain volume of air, it makes the air extremely flammable and combustible. Well, if you were to put a slightly open sugar packet in a little bubble of air, let's say in duct tape (exact measurements will NOT be give for legal purposes) with a fuse sticking out, the air would become explosive, as the air inside would ignite and melt through the duct tape, the sudden rush of oxygen would create a small charge or blast. If done right, it can blow a cinder block in half. My science teacher, Ms. Tatum, I think, was a little blown away, pardon the pun, and this was the start of a series of interesting events to come.

This included the later project that my friend did, where he would demonstrate the flammability of several chemicals. This also included a signed note from the teacher stating that he could bring in kerosene. Then came the discovery of thermite. The same friend got a hold of a few pages of the Anarchist's Cookbook (only 24.99 at your local book store, if your lucky) demonstrating the power of thermite. Conveniently, he was renovating his basement, which required that he go through the solid concrete floor, into the foundation. Being the lateral thinker, he passed over his sledgehammer for a little tin full of thermite. Once again, the ingredients will NOT be listed for other legal purposes, and what fun would it be if everyone knew how to make thermite. He took some magnesium ribbon and lit it with a blowtorch as a fuse, it burned down, igniting the thermite. He now had a hole 4 inches in diameter, and a foot deep. This led to the discovery of household explosives. I shall not go into detail about this one, since some people still don't know about it and some people would be really pissed if they found out it was me. For now, we shall say that it involved a dumpster, some pool chlorine and some pickle juice, or brine. Don’t try this, it goes kaboom really well.

later to come, more leaps and bounds of teenage mischief.

my quote for the day: "What I am against is quotas. I am against hard quotas, quotas they basically delineate based upon whatever. However they delineate, quotas, I think vulcanize society." -- Bushism #1,286. (I don't understand it either. Maybe that's why he's leading a country, and we're up north here, laughing our asses off.)

Hi All

2006-05-17T21:08:00.000-05:00

I'm back and no, I'm not ignoring all three of you. I've been working on my list of 101 things about me, which is a huge pain in the ass so far. I am constantly running out of ideas. Oh well, such is life, right? I'm so surprised that just from starting a blog, I already have three fans. Creepy, but still entertaining, keep it up guys! I can still count you on one hand!

My cat is starting to creep me out. For those of you that don't know, I have a cat. He's rather large. I mean LARGE. He's just over thirty pounds. But wait! There's more! He's also gay! That's right, my cat enjoys the company of other male cats. Namely, my mom's cat, Nertnie. But let's not stop there, He recently found out that we were calling him fat, and he took it rather badly. He's now become belimic. He has started throwing up all his food, purposely, on shoes and on the rug. It's one of his many ways of saying "Fck ya!". He also will try to randomly kick you as he's walking by, or he will sit on his ass and shake his fist ay you, kinda like those grumpy old men on the front porch. He will only let me pick him up, and that's where things get fun, you feel like you're going to have a hernia if he wants to come up on your lap. He can't leap, he can barely hop, or run for that matter. Pictures soon to come.

For those of you who have met or read about my mom, Trish, you know that she's a little... off at times, but that's ok. About a month ago, she decided that we needed to spend some quality time together, so I got 2 more piercings, on the left ear. Joy.

Soon to come, my list of 101 things!

my quote for the day: "Young man, the power is in your hand. Slam your fist on the table and make your demand, but you gotta make the right move..." --Matisyahu, Youth.

101 Things About Me

2006-05-15T19:56:00.000-05:00

Back by the popular demand of a few... I shall now give you all a list of 101 things about me.

1. My name is David.

2. My mother gave me the nickname Spawn Of Satan, because I used to stand at the edge of my crib and growl like I was possessed.

3. My favourite colour is black.

4. I snowboard.

5. I'm the kinda guy that laughs at a funeral, smiles when you're angry, you know what I mean.

6. my parents used to meet my grade two teacher in Fairview mall, in the food court to get weekly reports on my behavior.

7. I have witnessed 5 different cars blow up, 3 out of the five were teacher's cars. 2 of those three were in the school parking lot, the other was at his house. all three of them belonged to the same teacher.

8. I have always been around animals, including a snake, eight cats, a dog, a Norwegian (or however the hell you spell it) rat, a parrot, four green anoles, dozens of fish, and three guinea pigs.

9. I once had three fish that committed suicide. they used to swim up to the filter and stick their heads right into it.

10. I am polytheistic

11. I am scattered and disorganized.

12. I have no roll models in my life.

13. 13 is my lucky and favourite number.

14. people who try to correct/convert my spelling to the american way really piss me off.

15. I feel that hell-raising is not a privelledge, it's a right.

16. I find new ways to really annoy my teachers.

17. I often can get up to 12 songs stuck in my head at once, which really sucks, because then you can't find any of them.

18. I am going into culinary arts.

19. my favourite drink is clear rum.

20. I have never been drunk.

21. my first contact buzz was at an AC/DC concert. I called my mom, ate five large bags of doritos, and passed out on the train.

22. I listen to a wide variety of music, including billy talent, our lady peace, afi, seether, rammstien, the offspring, rise against, closet monster, alexisonfire, rage against the machine, anti-flag, and many others.

23. I once blew up a dumpster with pickle juice and pool chlorine.

24. I play guitar.

25. I once sang kareoke. Once. It was bohemian rhapsody.

26. no alcohol was involved in the kareoke event.

27. My guinea pig's names are Mouse, Frog, and Freak.

28. My favourite game is Conker's Bad Fur Day.

29. I don't like watches. I don't know what it is, because I like the styles, I just never wear them.
30. I'm really bad at lists.

31. I'm an archer.

32. Someone who I shall not name once made and detonated a smoke bomb in the science department.

33. This same person put sodium cubes into the sinks.

34. I once took a picture with the print screen button of the desktop, with all the icons in their normal place, then I made that the background, then I removed the icons. took the school a week to figure it out.

35. I spent almost four years in the army cadets.

36. I have convinced 3 substitute teachers that I have Terets.

37. I can't spell for shit.

38. I have the coolest mom in the world. She strictly enforces one thing, "chicks and booze out of the house by the time I get home."

39. My mom and my dad split up when I was... um... hm... I think about 2 1/2, maybe 3. Yes, I know, sad story. No tears now.

40. When I was three, I saw an episode of hte simpsons, you know, the one where Bart learns the touch of death. Let's just say, I learn fast. I did the NEOWAAA! thingy for a while afterwards.

41. I recently altered my friend's Word settings, so every time he types "a", it would automatically change it to something like "ASDSFJSDFBMDRAWOSDVMZDROHGSDJOASE!!!"
42. When my step-dad lectures me, I sometimes sit there and try to keep a straight face. Most of the time it's pretty hard.

43. I think most posers are really annoying.

44. I regularly exchange curse words with a couple of teachers. They swear at me, I do it right back.

45. I covered three windows of my old school in silly string.

46. I scare little kids on sight.

47. I laugh at people who think they are intimidating.

48. for a small assignment in grade seven or eight, I demonstrated how to use sugar packets as an explosive.

49. I love to scare the random eavesdropper by beginning a conversation with "ok, so there was this one time, in band camp," normally they either run away really fast, or they get closer. Either way, we laugh at them.

50. I traumatized a friend once by randomly pulling a pair of hand cuffs out of my back pack.

51. To end all further confusion, YES I am an eclectic wiccan.

52. To end all further issues, NO I will not cast a spell for you/ to prove it/ because I have nothing beter to do. You have been told.

53. I support body modification and tattooing. I have three piercings, so far, and plan to get a tattoo.

54. I am against the whole politically correct thing. It's just wrong if it goes so far as to call it "white, or non-white".

55. I know nothing about HTML, and if you know how to make the template background a picture, please let me know, I can kick all ass in photoshop.

56. I don't believe in logos, personal advertizing, or brand names.

57. I want a licence plate that says "3M TA3". For those of you who can't figure it out, look at it backwards.

58. I never use MSN

59. I never use Yahoo!

60. I once traumatized twenty freshmens by rolling my eyes back and speaking German in a really demonic voice.

61. I once ran for class rep. and got only 1 vote.

62. I will often walk up to my friends and randomly say "Fwathoom!" or something of the sort.

63. Because of cadets, I normally don't make noise when I walk, so I decided to convince people that I randomly apparate. so far, 4 believe.

64. My guinea pigs like different types of music and will fight over it.

65. The first one, Mouse, loves the Red Hot Chilipeppers.

66. The second one, Freak, likes Metallica

67. The third one, Frog, really loves Rammstein.

68. I always buy cds, I never download albums.

69. I normally write with one of the three pigs in my lap.

70. I always have music going.

71. I have ADD.

72. That's why it's taken me over three days to finish this.

73. I hate racists.

74. I dislike stupidity, but I also believe that there should be a quotient to the amout of stupidity people can put up with before calling you a freakin' moron.

75. I use my CPU as a footstool.

76. I don't normally play video games, but when I do, I normally beat them in a couple of days.

77. I like to read health magazines and laugh at all the new ways to get cancer. My favourite? a night light.

78. I really miss that flying toasters screensaver, you know, the one where every once and a while, a shotgun would appear and shoot one down.

79. I still watch saturday morning cartoons

80. The reason I don't drive is because I know that there are people like me out there, driving.

81. I'm nocturnal

82. I'm photosensitive

83. I really dislike zombies

84. they don't creep me out that much, I just don't like 'em

85. I enjoy giving random comments or quotes of the day.

86. I believe that making great leaps and bounds in all ass-kickery should be a valid excuse for being late to class.

87. Animals have a tendancy to pee on me.

88. Especially lizards.

89. I once joined the debate team just to go up to the podium and say "Nuh-uh"

90. My mom says I should mention that I'm apparently "Woolly". If you know what this means, please let me know.

91. I'm Canadian

92. My roots trace back through most of Europe.

93. I like pointy spikey things.

94. Here's an odd one for you, I have a really good fashin sense, but I'm straight! figure that one out.

95. No, really, I'm straight.

96. I enjoy smacking people with my rubber chicken key chain.

97. Whe I first wake up, my eyebrows point upwards.

98. I am not posessed.

99. That I know of.

100. I can't believe I made it this far, booyah!

101. I once made a list of 101 things about me.

*Insert deep breath of satisfation here*

My quote for the day: "If at first you do succeed, try not to look astonished." -- a random bumper sticker.

My name is David, and I am a blogger

2006-05-13T01:53:00.000-05:00

It may only be my second post, but somehow, someway, my mother got me hooked on this. I'm still trying to work out that little phase inbetween the start of the blog, and the addiction, but who can really tell?

It is currently 2:53 am on saturday and I came to the conclusion that I should add to the blog. Nothing eventful happening today, I get to slack off and sleep. Eventually. My dog has recently found a strong attraction to broccoli and will now beg for it any time it's on the dinner table. And I thought it was wierd when he loved cheese.

I get the joy of flicking through the hundreds of channels going "infomercial, infomercial, porn, infomercial." and so on. One of the set backs of being nocturnal.

My quote if the day: "Never hate a person because of their ethnicity, there's a lot more reason to hate them on an individual basis." -- anonymous (first time spelling that word right in over three months)

It's Alive!

2006-05-12T21:34:00.000-05:00

Welcome to the twisted world of me. This is a little blog I started mostly out of boredom and randomness. Well, let's get the ball rolling, I'm 16, and as you probably read, I'm not exactly normal.

Today was fairly interesting. A friend of mine decided to run for student council president and started to call himself "super" Mario for the campaign. I decided to show my "support" by throwing a few portabello mushrooms at him after his speech. That worked out well. I managed to talk my way out of it, though I did have to spend 4th period of class in the office explaining how I was on his side and I did indeed have every intention of voting for him. He did have some fairly good intentions, including the plan to get us a fooseball table and a trip to Europe, so things looked pretty good.

My saying of the day: "Shamanism: Trancing out, getting high and speaking in tongues since before Woodstock" -- Shivian, creator of Oh My Gods!